So often when I interact with (uh or argue with, whatever LOL) Snow, I think about so much more than just us in those moments. I am known for constantly overreacting and saying things like “What if our kids were here?!” in like a bar where you’d never have kids hahaha! Or you know, “How are we ever going to have kids if you can’t put the lid on the toothpaste!?” because that’s not totally insane right ?
The thing is, I know how my parents shaped my world and I take it very seriously. Everything they did taught me about how relationships should be, what love meant, how I am supposed to handle conflict, or not handle it. I learned how to mange, or not mange, my money for myself, and as a couple. How big, or small, my dreams should be. How I should treat others, act at work, and more. Watching them shaped all my ideals of marriage, having a house hold, raising kids. I also learned a lot about playing games, resentment, and guilt and I’ve had to do a lot of work to not repeat some really destructive patterns. I know that my kids will get the good AND the bad. So I pay attention now, before “it matters”.
One thing I never want to fight about is money. I don’t want to drill into my kids that we cannot afford things. I want to teach them my mentality instead, which is “HOW CAN I AFFORD IT”. My friend Brandon once called me a “natural born hustler” which I laughed at and wasn’t quite sure if it was a compliment or an insult to my character. He said he admired how when I wanted something, I did whatever it took to be able to afford it.
That is how my brain works though, if you want it, get laser focused, make whatever sacrifices you can, stay open to solutions and GO GET IT. I believe in hard work, I believe that the universe conspires to see you successful if you go after things, I don’t believe in can’t. That is one huge advantage to growing up as poor as I did in my early years, I never became a victim to my circumstances, just looked for ways out!
That mind set is what got me started in the coaching business when I didn’t have a dime to my name. Freshly divorced, just bankrupt, adjusting to a single income living alone in San Diego, and still with $100,000 in student loans over my head, it was NOT the time to spend money on some crazy shakes and vague business opportunity. Of course, I wanted to lose weight more than anything, so what did I do? I found the money.
I cancelled my cable when I started P90X, it gave me time and money which was cool. I filed for a discount with the electricity company since I qualified at the time, I still qualified for free birth control and medical care at planned parenthood, I had about 100 textbooks to sell from college, some old calculators, clothes, the list goes on. Stopped eating out, stopped shopping for clothes until I lost like 4 sizes or something, the whole 9 yards. I really would have been fine JUST cancelling cable, but I used the rest of the money for healthy food, personal development books, starting my free workout group at the local gym, a printer for my house, etc. I made the investment and I was ALL IN.
At some point into that I realized that this was actually about way more than fitness and that I could use coaching to provide for my family, ya know the one I don’t have yet Once I realized this, everything changed. It became about building a life where my kids would NEVER see us fight about money, not because we kept the arguments behind closed doors, but because it wasn’t an issue.
Obviously we don’t just have money falling out of the sky. We are watching every dollar right now because we are paying for our wedding ourselves and I don’t want to have any debt over it, so we still have a budget every month and follow it. We also both have student loans to pay and such. What we do have is an amazing sense of security that we can afford to do everything we need to, and SO MUCH MORE.
I know that even just on my income alone, we will never get to the last dollar in our banks accounts, we will always be able to afford food, clothing and shelter (luxuries we didn’t always have when we were kids) no matter what. On top of that we will be able to put our kids in sports, take care of their health, travel with them, take them on day trips, put them in exceptional schools, provide not just food but healthy, organic, quality food for them, get them pets, decorate their rooms, and above all BOTH BE HOME WITH THEM for all of it.
I’d never be the type to spoil kids, I think my worth ethic is one of my greatest gifts. It is still amazing to know that I’ll be able to give them an incredible life, all because I took a chance on some crazy person I didn’t know bringing me into a business that didn’t make sense a few years ago. Now I spend my days working, helping others, and changing lives, namely the lives of our future kids
This week I am putting together a group of 5 women that I will personally mentor for the month of September. I will teach you everything you need to know to be successful in this business, starting with YOU and your goals. You know where to find me if you’re ready to start giving your children the life you always dreamed you would: amber@creatingadestiny.com :0)