When I was a kid I brought my mom flowers from the yard like all the time. I don’t know how old I was when I brought her a handful of dandelions, but I remember what she said very clearly.
“Oh honey, those aren’t flowers, those are weeds.” She thanked me for picking them, as I was getting them out of the yard for her and sent me back out to get more. Don’t worry this isn’t a post on child labor LOL 😉
It was a totally innocent comment, that anyone would have made. From that point forward, these “flowers” were now “weeds” and that was just that. My belief was formed in an instant, and never questioned again.
I was thinking about this on the plane yesterday. How much we believe simply because we have no reason to question it. I didn’t see the need to question my mom on the classification of plants as a child. Why would I?
This of course was before I found about Santa and the the tooth fairy. I may have had a few more questions had I been delivered those truths already =P
We form beliefs as child, based on our parents, our teachers, and our experiences. They stay with us. Some of them might seem good, like believing the stove is hot so you shouldn’t put your hand on it. Maybe things like don’t walk on hot coals you’ll burn your feet … my Tony Robbins fans get me 😉
Others may seem like they don’t matter one way or another, like if a dandelion is a flower or weed. I mean really who cares, I don’t personally think that distinction is going to hold you back from a happy and healthy life.
It’s the ones that fall under another category that worry me. The ones we believe to be true without question, that hold us back from everything we want. The negative ones.
We believe we are too “something” or not enough of “something” I’m too fat, young, broke, short, tall, old, or busy….we’ve all said one of these things to ourselves. Do any of these sound familiar?
I could never make that much money.
I could never speak in front of people.
I could never share my story.
I could never get that many followers.
I would never inspire anyone.
I don’t stick to what I start.
I quit everything, we never succeed.
No one would ever listen to me.
My opinion doesn’t matter, I’ll let someone smarter answer.
My needs aren’t important.
The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people comes down to what they choose to believe. Here is the thing about beliefs … YOU GET TO CHOOSE THEM and you can change them any time you want.
Once you choose one, you’ll spend your life looking for proof all around you that you are right. You think people are mean? You will find mean people freaking everywhere. You think all men are cheating bastards? Oh honey, you will find every cheater on the planet.
Here is an example. When I was first starting coaching others on their own journey, I was almost 300 pounds.
My BELIEF was: No one would want to get weight loss help from someone who is fat. I have to wait to help people until I am an ideal weight.
The TRUTH is: People love to get inspiration from someone who is real. It makes the results more attainable for them and helps me connect to them on a deeper level.
Either one might be true, I have no idea. Maybe some people look at me and are like eff that I don’t want her help, and that is fine. Just think of all the people that have been helped who don’t feel that way. I looked for proof of the latter, and have found THOUSANDS of people to help prove me right.
Either way, I get to CHOOSE what to believe.
I challenge you today to pick one thing that you believe to be true, that is taking away from your life, and just question it. Write it out. Don’t look for evidence to prove your crappy BS belief is true, but look for evidence that maybe you were wrong this whole time.
If you think you “fail at everything I try” make a list of 50 things you have succeeded at. I mean shit, you pulled of walking pretty well, reading seems to have worked out okay, I bet you don’t fail at EVERYTHING. When you get to 50, shoot for 100. Keep going! Then start saying “I succeed at everything I try” and see how much harder you work to prove yourself right.
When it comes down to it, we’ve made up all the crap in our heads anyway. We might as well make up some good stuff, seems to me we’d get a lot further =)