Obligation to other people has always been the biggest reason I’ve never committed suicide. I remember 5 years ago at my lowest low, the one thing that kept me from it was what it would do to my mother, and my grandmother, or my best friend.
I wanted to believe that “no one would care” but if I was honest with myself, I knew the ripple effect of me doing that would leave irreparable damage in the people I loved. Regardless of how worthless I felt, I couldn’t do that to THEM.
I find it fascinating that the same mentality is what has kept me on this journey and in the coaching business.
As you can imagine, you don’t wake up one day and “cure” depression. I battled it for almost 20 years, 100 pounds lost, and a six figure income, are not a magic wand. Pretty damn close, which is awesome, but there are still hard days.
Yesterday was the hardest day I’ve had in years and it got me thinking: Where would I be without my amazing followers, challengers, and team? How long ago would I have let depression win and slid back?
I am pretty sure it would have been about 6 months in, and then probably a year, or 2, year 3 would have been too much I’m sure of it. There is no way I would still be at it.
The thing is, every time I try to consider that “no one would care” if I gained my weight back, gave up on personal growth, stopped learning, and walked away from coaching … if I’m honest with myself, I know it’s not true.
I have an obligation to every single person I have touched on this journey. I have lit a fire of hope in so many, and that fire is still barely growing in some. If I were to walk away now, it would be like a mass extinguish of those flames. The ripple effect of me doing that would leave irreparable damage. That’s not the legacy I want.
I hope you know that every like, comment, share, email, text, etc that I get has built that sense of obligation that I have learned to absolutely CHERISH. Every person who has chosen me as their coach, joined my team, and become a friend: My responsibility to you is what keeps me going <3
I got my run on, drank my shakeology, and finished my to do list yesterday because of YOU!!! I didn’t want to, I couldn’t have cared any less, but it got done.
I realize to many I’m just some girl on the internet and you don’t think twice about hitting like, or just scrolling on by. I would like you to know that you are more than that to me, and frankly, more than that to everyone that’s been helped because I’m still here. THANK YOU for that.
If you really want to have long term success, it takes a community. There is nothing wrong with asking for help, there is nothing wrong with being real. People WILL love you anyway. I am so grateful for mine, and if anyone else is looking for a place to belong, we’d love to have you in ours because I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE <3