I was sitting on my couch last night, after a day full of frustrations and disappointments, cuddled up with the love of my life with a glass of wine from a bottle he’d brought home the week before, and a pint of So
Coconut Milk Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Now, I realize I have just lost half of you to questions about my ice cream and wine… was it paleo, was it good, where did she get it, etc. … but stay with me, that’s not the point.
I realized I was digging through the ice cream looking for the cookie dough chunks. I wasn’t remotely concerned with the creamy coconut ice cream or the awesome chocolate slivers that I was ingesting along the way, I was on a mission to find the dough! Having had this ice cream before, in plain vanilla bean, I knew that I’m usually a slow eater and really enjoy every single bite. As I was getting annoyed at the lack of cookie dough in my ice cream, as I do with all cookie dough ice cream LOL, I realized I’d eaten so much more than I normally would have, and enjoyed it significantly less. I stopped and really thought about this situation, and I knew I had something great to share with you all, and no it wasn’t my ice cream 😉
I realized something about enjoying the journey and celebrating success. So often we have big goals in our lives, I talk to women who want to lose 100 pounds, run 26.2 miles, finish a master’s degree, get to 10,000 star diamond, do an unassisted pull up, get the boyfriend to take on the husband title, get pregnant, or win a contest of some kind. The list goes on. When I had my sights set on just enjoying my ice cream I did, every single bite, and I felt content and satisfied. As soon as I started looking for something, I couldn’t see the value in the ice cream I was eating, it was just a means to an end, and frankly it was in my way.
We set our sights on these goals and we pour everything into them: Our time, our energy, our money and emotions. We sacrifice and push, rise and fall, and if we are lucky we eventually get there. Why then when we get there do we backslide? We lose 50 pounds and then gain 60. We get the job and then get ourselves fired because it gets boring; we cross the finish line and then don’t run another step for 5 years. We gave this goal everything we had and it’s as if we didn’t even want it. Why?
It’s because we put so much emphasis on the end goal that we forgot to revel in the journey, to cherish every moment of the struggle, and so truly celebrate every success on the way. We get to the goal weight and we still have the same job, the same spouse, the same kids and the same family and friends. THE SAME LIFE. We get there and we wonder why we aren’t happy. Shouldn’t we be?
No. Of course we shouldn’t, because it was NEVER the goal we were really chasing, it was the life we associated with that goal. It was the picture of the smiling and laughing thin version of ourselves with the man who cherishes us and the job we are successful at all in our clean house with our well behaved kids. Whatever life you associate with the goal you are after you MUST start living NOW. You must build that life along the way and enjoy it so that when you get there you are actually living the life you were looking for. You will not have gained it because you reached the goal, you will have developed it along the way.
My challenge to you is to look at your big goal and decide when you want to achieve it by. If you want to lose 100 pounds and you know it takes about 2 lbs. a week, go look at your calendar right now and figure out what day you will be standing on the scale at your goal weight and decide what you are going to do to celebrate it. Spa weekend? Trip to Disneyland? Shopping spree? PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR NOW. Book the spa weekend, invite your girls to a girls day for your shopping spree, get your damn ears picked out to have your name embroidered on.
More importantly, do the exact SAME THING for your milestone goals! What about the first 10 lbs.? What about your first new pants size? When will you reach those and how will you celebrate? PUT IT ON THE CALENDAR. Thinking about doing a photo shoot for yourself at the 50 lb. mark? BOOK IT NOW. When and how will you celebrate the milestones? Make them meaningful and often enough to motivate you, but infrequently enough to make them meaningful. Can you imagine how this positive accountability to your goal will not only keep you on track to a deadline, but also give you something to work toward?
This is so much more important for your long term happiness and succes than you can possibly imagine. People who celebrate their success and truly enjoy the journey on the way to the goal are not only more likely to reach the goal, but they are more likely to maintain whatever it was they worked so hard for. I don’t any of you to “Be like Mike”, who is famous for once tipping the scales at 1,000 lbs. and then after getting down to only 300 lbs., gaining it ALL back. For you I want the REAL thing: Life change, happiness, peace, the whole package. As your coach I can tell you that I have achieved this and I want it for you more than I can ever want you to reach a number on the scale or a size of jeans, so please stop today and celebrate YOU <3
If you’d like to listen to my more in depth call on this subject, and goal setting, you can listen to this MP3 from my public call channel :0)
I’d love for you to comment below with your goal and how you will celebrate it! And yes … the ice cream was really good, so was the wine, no it’s not 100% paleo and I got it at Sprouts 😉
Love! Awesome observation, thanks for sharing! 🙂
Great piece, Amber, and a wonderful reminder! Thank you for all that you do! 🙂
Thanks for the great post/motivation Amber! My goal is to lose 15 more lbs. by the end of the year. And I had a pinup photoshoot in mind as my reward/celebration. You’re right, I will book it now. I think they are booked out that far anyway. 🙂
Love, love, love this Amber! You’re so right about it being the journey that counts! I have to remind this to myself daily! I get so set on the “finale” that i discourage myself by thinking its too much and so far away i’ll never get there.
Really enjoyed reading this blog post, Amber! Thanks for sharing 🙂