Do You Ever Miss the Couple You and Your Husband Used to Be? I do. Sometimes I’m like “wait what, did you say forever? Like we’re married until we die?” and I have a small heart attack at the idea LOL.
It’s not because I don’t love my husband, don’t get me wrong. I am just so surprised at how many people I’ve already been in 34 years and it the idea of being all the people I will be in the future is overwhelming.
To think about all the people he is going to be doubles that, and I just am lost in the wonder of how all the different versions of ourselves are going to have to fall in love with each other over and over again.
What is really cool to look at though, is the fact that over the last 6 and half years we’ve already been SO many people, and we’ve loved so many different ways. In the end, the thing that remained the same was that we wanted to be with each other.
These two pictures are from the holidays, only 4 years apart. They may not look much different to you all, but I can see it so clearly, how much we’ve changed together.
A quote that came to mind the other day was:
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” ~Bruce Lee
I was driving home and thinking about how when we were younger, and brand new, we were on absolute FIRE. The highs were so high, and the lows were so very low. The fights were explosive and everything was so unpredictable.
We were always off on some grand adventure, throwing some huge party, seeking a new place, with new people, and new drinks =P
The future of our whole lives often felt like it was resting on one single text, and how long we’d be waiting for it. The deep hope that you would wake up to a message of adoration or desire.
Our flame was hot and fierce.
There is something so much deeper about a love that is never in question.
There is comfort in being so intertwined that your value to another person doesn’t need to be constantly reinforced.
The predictability of knowing you are loved in all your imperfection and that there is no new place, new person, or new drink lol, that you need to seek.
We have lived so much over the years we’ve been together so far. We have such and incredible adventurous life. We’ve been to so many countries, met so many people and seen so many amazing things.
It’s really nice to be starting new adventures that are unlike anything we’ve done before. Peace, love, security, family, roots.
It crossed my mind, on that drive home, that this is what people are truly seeking all those years.
Our love feels like a coal to me now. Just as passionate, yet deep burning, with no need to constantly fan the flames.
It’s not always easy to move onto things you don’t know. It is much easier to cling to the person you were, then to venture into the unknown of the person you’ll become.
Here’s how I figure it though, I’ve already done all that. I know what it’s like. Life is too fleeting to only settle into the things I already know that I like, or that I know how to do.
I’m not on this earth to get really good at one thing, I’m here to LIVE.
There are so many versions of myself that I cannot wait to meet, and I look forward to discovering new versions of my husband as well. I’m excited for them to meet each other.
I look forward to shared glances over our kids heads, as we remember moments of the people we used to be. I look forward to coming across old pictures and sighing, “wow we were so young” and then remembering everything our lives together have held, and feeling so much love. Isn’t that REALLY the dream?
Cheers to everyone we will ALL become in this life, I look forward to meeting you all again and again <3