I have had 4 big moments over the last month and they’ve lead me to quite an emotional place.
Each one has served as a small slap in the face, but together they are more like a punch in the gut.
When I was up in Seattle, for my baby shower, we were sitting round and I asked a question I saw on Facebook. The question was: If money was no object, what frivolous thing would you buy for yourself?
I knew my answer immediately.
I said I’d buy a private jet and airport to get to use forever. Something to make my world a little smaller than it is now.
I thought about that afterwards, and I realized how important it is to for me be able to be wherever my friends and family are, whenever they need me.
How important it is, that my little girl get to know both her homes, CA and WA, as well as the rest of this beautiful earth.
For her to know ALL of the people that are important in our lives.
For her to never hear we “can’t” be there for an important family event, no matter how far away, or how short of notice.
The freedom to travel matters to me, and for that, I need to own both my time, and my finances.
A friend of mine, who has helped me out in the past, and means the world to me, came to me for help. She wasn’t asking for charity, she was asking if I’d consider buying some products from her business.
Her husband had lost his job, and she was doing anything she could, to make up for it, so her kids would still be taken care of. She had thrown herself into her company, to take care of her family.
I wanted to tell her I’d take one of everything she offered. That everyone was getting her products for Christmas this year lol, to do anything I could, to support her strength and determination.
I found out that someone who works for me was struggling financially. Her ex cut off his regular support for their kids, and she was behind on all of the house bills. It was breaking her heart not to be able to take care of it on her own, and she was working as hard as she could every day.
She didn’t tell me directly, she would never do that, but when word got to me, all I wanted to do was call each of the companies and pay her bills of myself. Call it a Christmas bonus or something, and just handle it.
I wanted to say thank you for her years of service and not think twice about how much the total was.
I was recently on a plane, and I was sitting next to a young kid, who seemed really nervous about the flight. From what I could tell he only spoke Spanish, and he was probably about 18.
It was a 3 hour flight and there was food for sale. He only had cash, and they are not usually open to cash on planes anymore. He handed the girl his $20 and she gave it back and he was very confused.
She went to grab his meal back and stopped her, and just said, I’ve got it and paid for him, because what is $8 in scheme of things, for someone to be able to eat.
I thought about the fact that I don’t ever want to have to think twice about doing that for someone. I don’t ever want to worry if I have the money to help out a stranger in need, without thinking about it.
Each of these moments weighed on my mind for days afterwards.
I have thought more and more about what having money really means to me, and consequently what not having it, would mean.
I realized that my living small isn’t just hurting me.
My worrying about what other people think of me, doesn’t just let myself down.
My not wanting to offend, rock the boat, or “lose friends” by sharing my business, is the most self centered, and frankly disgusting, behavior I have ever exhibited.
Playing it safe to be liked, needing approval, and not wanting to be “pushy” does nothing but feed my ego, and keep me from giving with my whole heart.
There was a point in my business where I had more money than I ever dreamed possible, and as people were critical of me, left my team, gossiped behind my back, or choose to project their issues on to me, I shrank.
I fed into not being good enough, being a fraud, and knowing I’d fail, and I gave those people my power.
I handed over MY power to help people, to a bunch of people who I was never going to be good enough for anyway.
WHAT A WASTE.
There was never anything wrong with me. I am EXACTLY the kind of person that should be entrusted with a lot of money and success, and I am absolutely DONE with other people’s opinions.
Your thoughts about me will never me more important that my daughter knowing her family, being able to help a friend in need, and taking care of a stranger when I have the chance.
I will not apologize for what I do, or how much I get paid to do it, EVER.
I work hard to help people, and then I work hard to do the right things, with the money I’ve been blessed with for doing so.
I am building the life of my dreams, and I will NOT be quiet about it.
Anyone who has a negative thought about that will be told to turn a mirror around on themselves and leave my name out of their mouths.
There are too many people who need me, who need YOU, who need all of us. Only a attitude of abundance is allowed here from now on <3 <3 <3