I think it’s time for me to do a hand check. I’m sharing with you, in case it’s time for you to do the same.
Do you know what that means?
There is a concept in the bible that if you live with open palms, offering up all that you have, to whom it truly belongs, our creator, you are given much more than living with a closed fist.
You may hear this sometimes, when it comes to giving to the church:
“One man gives freely yet gains even more. Another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty.” Proverbs 11:24
What I am talking about is holding on to the life I have, not tithing or anything like that.
You see, when your fists are closed so tightly, around the things you have, there is no room for anything else to be put into your hands.
There are many things I do not want to let go of, as I’m facing Snow being at work, instead of working with me, or making room in our lives, for a child.
I worry about money, I worry about not being able to work my business the way I want to, I worry about not being able to travel, I worry about the loss of my identity I love so much, as I trade it in for being a mom.
I lament the possible loss of living in CA, the possible loss of my body I worked so hard for, and the marriage I thought I was going to have, looking the way I thought it would look.
I’m not actually a worrier at all. I am not anxious. I am usually flexible, calm, and really good at accepting what is, not what I believe should be.
This is not a struggle I am accustomed too, on this side of my transformation.
At this time in my life, I need to check my hands. I’m clenching too tightly to many things, that aren’t even mine to hold on to.
As I am clenching those things in my fists, I am removing the joy from what is coming that is new.
I am heading into new chapters of my life in many areas, and the only way I am going to make it through without making myself miserable, is by opening up my hands.
On my knees, humble and unclear I absolutely acknowledge that none of what I have belongs to me, and that I do not know best. I offer up all of it to the one who has my destiny laid out.
I may need reminding of this as time passes, if you see me worrying, remind me to check my hands. It may also be time for you to check yours!
Prayer I found for this message:
Dear God, Please help me to do a regular hand check, and keep my hands open, giving freely and not close-fisted and stingy. Help me to realize that your blessings are meant to be shared, and not stored away selfishly. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
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