This baby will not ruin my life.
Yes I know that’s not a thing people say, or assume a mom needs to hear, but I’ve been very slow to convince of this.
This is not the end.
I haven’t given up everything.
My dreams are not crushed.
This baby will not ruin my life.
I know there are a lot of women out there who have always wanted to be a mom. So many who pictured that for their lives.
I have friends who came out of the womb ready to draw smiley faces on lunch bags and buy mini vans.
It was just in their blood lol.
That was not me.
I was adamantly #teamnokids until God placed my husband in my path.
He is clearly a huge fan. He’s a teacher and he loves children.
I watch him play with kids and it’s like watching aliens run around lol, I just don’t get it?
We had a daycare in my house growing up and kids just looked like work to me.
Dirty, crying, nonsense spouting, work.
It was a conversation we had when we got married, it was a deal breaker, and I knew that going in, so I was prepared to have kids, if we were both healthy and able.
It is not a secret that whatever the opposite of excitement and joy are, were my reaction to being pregnant, for quite a few months.
All I could picture was spending the rest of my life being fat, broke, tired, constantly overworked, and probably never having sex again 😛
I don’t know if you know this ladies, but ya’ll complain a lot and it’s not good sales pitch for #momlife hahaha!!!
All day I help women who totally gave up their lives for their families.
They are sad, lost and beaten down. It’s scary!
I felt stuck. Totally trapped. Very much like my life was over.
The thing is, I have spent the last 5 years building up this incredible professional (and social) circle of women.
These amazing examples of motherhood, who are also gorgeous, wealthy, successful, and at the rate they keep having kids, clearly still having sex ???
I look around and I see my amazing friends, who still “have it all” and I have to ask myself:
Why not me?
What is so wrong with me that doing something, that women do all the time, is going to break me?
Why would the existence of another human, alter my natural personality SO much, that all of a sudden who I am will disappear?
I refuse to believe that anymore.
THAT IS A CHOICE.
I will not accept that all of sudden I wont be passionate about where my food comes from, or find my greatest comfort in my gym shoes.
I do not believe that my history with constant improvement, and dedication to success, will just disappear.
I am not buying into the idea that international travel is something I now have to put off for retirement years.
I will absolutely not settle for financial mediocrity.
I can do this.
THERE IS TOO MUCH PROOF AROUND ME THAT EVERYTHING IS STILL POSSIBLE!!!
My girl Dani has two gorgeous daughters, and a thriving Life Coaching business.
My childhood BFF Carrie, is pregnant with her 3rd, and is owning the WA real estate market, like a boss.
The amazing Brooke is my daily inspiration, using her unexpected weight gain while pregnant, to massively fuel her fitness business, and inspiring the hell out of me.
My long time Coach friend Stephanie, has baby #4 on the way, and is a millionaire club member, has been Elite every year, and just built her dream home.
Jen had two boys, at just about my age now, and continued to kick a$$ in the San Diego marketing space, and looking hot while doing it.
This is for sure a HUGE THANK YOU to all the women in my life, who keep chasing their dreams. Your impact is far more than you know 😀
I could go on all day about the women in my life that have shown me THAT I WILL STILL BE ME when this is all said and done.
Period of adjustment? Yes.
Lots of challenge, growth, and new perspective? Uh yeah dude.
Still myself at the core? Absolutely.
I have no delusions that parenthood is easy. I also no longer have the delusion that I cannot do hard things well.
Challenge IS WHAT I DO.
I live for hard.
I thrive in a fight.
The harder it comes the more inspired I get.
Easy just never did anything for me.
As my husband reminded me this weekend, when I was feeling overwhelmed, I WAS BUILT FOR THIS SHIT.
This baby will not ruin my life, it will bring out in me, everything that is already inside.
Gaining, not losing.
Different, not worse.
More reasons to succeed, not less.
Bigger dreams, not smaller <3