This used to be really hard for me. I either said yes when I didn’t want to, or searched frantically in my brain for reasons why I just “couldn’t”. I hated letting people down, I wanted to be super woman because the more I could do, the more value I felt I had.
I eventually learned that those explanations were dis-empowering and untrue. Of course I COULD do the thing. I can always do the thing. I am very capable and highly skilled.
However your wants do not take priority over my needs, AND THAT’S OKAY.
By showing everyone how valuable I was, by how much I could take on when I should have been saying no, I was really showing them how little I valued MYSELF.
I am CHOOSING to simply say no when it doesn’t fit.
I don’t have to tell you that I have too much going on, or run a list of all the other obligations I’m already meeting, so you don’t feel unimportant, or place my dreams on the back burner to help.
I of course say yes a LOT, because I’m still me, just not more than is healthy, and not to things that go against what I’m doing with my life.
Trust me, if I say no, it’s because whatever you are asking me to do, does not align with my priorities, and that’s that. It’s not personal, I have no emotions behind it, the answer is simply no.
Maybe my mom had something going with the “Because I said so.” line after all LOL.
Seriously, you should try it, it’s amazing 😉