If You Want Respect, GIVE IT.

Girls Want Attention, Women Want Respect

Ladies! Can I get your attention for a minute or two? It’s about our men and it’s important.

We desperately need to stop vilifying our men. For the sake of our relationships, our children and our society, it has to stop always being their fault. I hear all day long “I wish my husband would…” or “You’re so lucky, my husband doesn’t / wouldn’t …” and my favorite “All the good ones are taken”

Listen to me very carefully, if you want to your man to be anything, YOU have to be it first. Not just once, and not JUST so he’ll do it back, but because that is the woman, wife, mother, and partner you WANT to be.

He doesn’t support your weight loss goals? Okay do you support his video games and fantasy football? It’s not the same? How so? Why do you get to decide what is important to him but you also get to decide what is important to you? How does that work? You’re not in in charge of him dreams and yours are not more important just because you say so.

He doesn’t make you feel sexy and attractive? Okay, do you make him feel sexy and attractive? Or do you spend your days rolling your eyes, criticizing and correcting him? How sexy do you think he feels when you reload the dishwasher because he “just can’t do it right”? When was the last time you caught him out of the corner of your eye and thought, “man he’s getting sexier as we age, how awesome” and then TOLD HIM that. It ALL counts.

He doesn’t help you with the house / kids / bills …? That’s BS. Men LOVE to be needed, just ask. hey aren’t women, they don’t just offer, but they do want to help you. When you ask him for help (if you even bother too since most women expect them to read our minds and then get resentful when they don’t) are you kind, loving and hopeful? Asking and demanding are not the same thing. You’d never let him talk to you half the ways you talk to him and you know it.

When he does help, do you praise and thank him, or do you go behind him and redo it or eventually stop asking because it wasn’t done “right”? Say things like, “Why should I thank him, I do it 99% of the time?” or “finally!. No one likes to feel like they aren’t good enough or they aren’t appreciated. How many times would you talk cars, sports, beers or video games if every time you did he shut you down for being wrong?

Having him around is like having another child around? Really? Whose fault it that, his mother? LOL nope. It’s yours. You let him get that way and you are letting him stay that way. Making jokes about it, and banning him from the laundry because he folds it wrong or doesn’t understand sorting does nothing but perpetuate it. He’s a GROWN MAN and he can learn. You teach your children how to do things, do you think he is LESS capable of learning basic life skills than your 5 year old??? What kind of message does that send? Then you want to be mad AT HIM? Give me a break.

Do you dish the negative things about him to your friends or point out the positive? Do you praise him in public or are you quick to throw out a passive aggressive shot is way when you’re out, just to let him know you haven’t forgotten his latest mistake? Do you purposefully spend time focusing on the things that you love about him or are you looking for your next chance to be “RIGHT”? Seriously ladies think about it.

I know that you want a happy, loving, passionate partnership. We all do. Let’s start by remembering we are on the same team, even though some days it doesn’t feel like it. If you want to be treated like a queen, take time to treat your man like a king. Maybe today you can be happy, loving and passionate instead of blaming him for not being it. Try it again tomorrow, and the next day. I guarantee it rubs off eventually. 

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